Click on chapter number to be transported immediately to that essay
A Covid Outbreak at The Refuge Includes Pat and Then Ron Ch.135
A Death in the Family Ch.140
A Feeling of Helplessness Ch.65
A Fisherman Named Grief Reels Me In. Ch.161
A Good Day to Remember Ch.131
A Good Sign: I Realize I Am Not Alone in Grieving Ch.163
A Joyful Musical Memory Ch.186
A Lesson in Humility: Ron the Caregiver Needs Care Ch.132
A Note to Judy Ch.187
A Pretty Good Life Ch.192
A Rainbow Appears Just When I Need It Ch.171
A Sad Day At the Refuge Ch. 122
A Simple Gesture of Respect Ch.110
A Sudden Setback and a Big decision for Ron Ch.127
Acceptance: Yes; Passivity: No Ch.20
Adding Structure Challenges Lack of Initiative Caused by Lewy Body. Ch.23
Am I Abandoning Pat? Ch.212
Am I a Helicopter Husband? Ch.2
An Emotional Roller Coaster Day Ch.72
An Unexpected Invitation Ch.214
An Unpleasant Surprise: I May Have Cancer Ch.200
Are we Still On the Same Team? Ch.85
Beautiful Service, Somber Burial, Unending Grief Ch.157
Being Lost is Not a Great Experience Ch.78
Blackcap Pie, Memory Loss and Confusion. Ch.28
Caregiver Meltdown Ch.26
Care Partner Goals: Safety, Pleasure, Joy. Ch.58
Chasing After My Horse and Wondering About My Future Ch.168
Creative Dining the Lewy Body Way. Ch.133
Critical Decisions: Pat and Levi Ch.211
Dangerous Territory: Watching "My Name is Otto" Ch.182
Depression and Lewy Body. Ch.16
Disheartening Morning; Somber Afternoon; Beautiful Evening. Ch. 100
Doing OK But a Little Empty Ch.190
Don't Leave a Mess Behind Ch.198
Empathy for a Couple Dealing with Dementia. Ch.170
Ending our Book on a Positive Note.. and Starting Another. Ch.52
Every Caregiver Needs an Overload Specialist. Ch.80
Everything Goes Wrong Ch.201
Exhaustion and Relief Ch. 64
Feeling Normal Feels Great Ch. 203
First Airplane Flight After Pat's Death Ch.199
First Christmas Without Pat Ch.178
First Pat and Then Ron Join a Memory Choir Ch.15
Frustration. Ch.83
Get Me Through December Ch.197
Getting Stuck in the Courtyard Brings Back a Sad Memory Ch.145
Good Day/Bad Day: The Lewy Body Roller Coaster is Still Operating. Ch.139
Good Days. Ch.4
Good News: Pat Lodges One Complaint and Makes Two Requests. Ch.119
Good Signs That I am Returning to Life Ch.167
Hallucinations from Outside and Inside Ch.1
Hanging On or Getting Through My Loss? Ch.207
Happy Memories Don't Have to Make Me Sad Ch.164
Heartache Ch.158
Here's What We've been Avoiding Telling You Ch.105
Hoping for a Miracle Ch.74
Hospice. Ch.117
How Can We Keep Pat involved in the Conversation? Ch. 70
I Am a Witness who Can't Witness Ch.183
I Can No Longer Keep Lakota Safe Ch.188
I Give Away 150 Bales of Hay Ch. 209
I Love You, Sometimes. Ch.141
I Still Cannot Separate "Alone" from "Lonely." Ch.179
I Think I Did OK but Not Better Than OK Ch.68
I Visit Pat's Grave on Her Birthday. Ch.165
I Wasn't Talking in My Sleep. I Was Talking in Your Sleep Ch.35
I Watch a Couple Holding hands -- and I Remember Ch.162
I Wonder What I've Missed Ch.134
If You Don't Laugh, You'll Cry. Ch. 24
I'm Grateful We Can Still Disagree Ch.69
I'm Here at The Refuge, Aren't I, to Stay Ch.108
I'm Ready to be Gone Ch.123
I'm Scared to Travel Away from Pat Ch.19
It's a Good Thing we are Both Introverts Ch.54
Keep On Trucking but I Won't Regret a Thing Ch.25
Keeping "Victories" and "Defeats" in Perspective Ch.126
Letting Go of a Great Resentment Ch.193
Levi Hasn't Eaten for Three Days Ch.206
Lewy Body Affects Pat's Sense of Time. Ch.46
Lewy Body Helps Pat Find a Way to Honor her Deceased Brother. Ch.86
Looking Ahead to an Uncertain Future Ch.172
Looking into the Void: Pat's Blank Stare Scares Ron Ch.142
Many Small Frustrations Ch.51
McKenzie Maria McGillicutty: How to Have a Little Fun When it is Hard Finishing Your Sentences. Ch.104
Mornings Can Be Unpredictable in our Lewy Body World. Ch.43
Mortality. Ch.13
Mother's Day Memories Ch.202
My Friend Howard's Joyful End of Life Ch.194
My Two Worlds Ch.213
Need for Support, The Ch.5
Noise Ch.3
Not Driving -- A Blow to Pat's Spirit Ch.18
Now What Will Give Meaning to My Life? Ch.160
One Year Anniversary of Pat's Death Ch.204
Our Children Want Us to Move into the City Ch.47
Our 58th Anniversary Ch.208
Our Two Truths are like Oil and Water Ch.48
Pat and I Go Shopping Together for the First Time in Over a Year Ch.84
Pat and I have a Serious Conversation about Death and Loneliness Ch.111
Pat and I Watch a Movie whose Main Character has Dementia Ch. 75
Pat and Ron Confront the Corona Virus Ch.21
Pat Asks Ron How He has been Affected by Her Lewy Body. Ch.40
Pat Begins Taking a Strong Pain Reliever. Ch.109
Pat Calls Me "Dad" and that Feels OK. Ch.53
Pat Cannot Say Ron's Name Ch.118
Pat Develops a Serious Auto-Immune Disorder Ch.62
Pat Eats Little but seems Unconcerned Ch.91
Pat Forgets but then She Remembers Ch.71
Pat has a Second Syncope Episode --but Doesn't Remember It. Ch.61
Pat Has Almost Two Pain Free Hours and Ron Begins to Relax Ch.114
Pat is Taken Off Opioid Pain Medication and Immediately Functions Better Ch.120
Pat has Gumption Ch.63
Pat is Home with Me in my Heart. Ch.103
Pat is Transferred to a Rehab Facility Ch. 98
Pat Joins a Memory Choir. Ch.36
Pat Keeps Losing Weight Even Though She Eats well Ch.144
Pat Moves to a Very Good Memory Care Center Ch.107
Pat No Longer Has the Ability to Help Write This Dialogue Ch.143
Pat Outwits a Would-Be Seducer Ch. 88
Pat Potter-Efron Obituary Ch.148
Pat Quietly Passes Away. Ch.147
Pat Rallies and Says Something Beautiful Ch.125
Pat Reads Nancy Drew to Ron Ch.102.
Pat Realizes She's been Hallucinating Ch.34
Pat Returns to the Hospital Ch. 97
Pat Still Gets to Choose Ch.116
Pat Tells Me How Each Rock is Special Ch.113
Pat Tells Me How She is Growing Ch.96
Pat Tells Us She is in Charge Ch. 81
Pat Tells us about a Major Decision She Made. Ch. 60
Pat Thinks Better than She Can Speak. Ch.112
Pat's Protectors Work Together to Help her Heal Ch.130
Pat was Diagnosed with Lewy Body Exactly Four Years Ago Today Ch.137
Pat's Been Gone Exactly Six Months Today Ch.180
Pat's Last Gift Ch.173
Pat's Younger Brother Kevin Just Died Ch.79
Physical Intimacy -- Hugs and More Ch.10
Porch Bird Watching on the First Beautiful Spring Day of the Year Ch.27
Questions for the New Year: 2019 and then 2020 Ch.9
Reading Still Alice. Ch.174
Remembering Pat During the Holiday Season Ch.175
Reminiscences: "Tripping" with Pat Ch.195
Ron and Don Discuss their Roles with their Wives Ch.90
Ron Becomes Anxious and Irritable Ch.59
Ron Begins to Recover His Sense of Humor Ch.169
Ron Feels a Premonition Ch.146
Ron Goes to a Quilting Show with a Friend Ch.166
Ron Has a Panic Attack and Pat has a Urinary Tract Infection Ch.92
Ron Makes a Serious Mistake and then So Does Pat Ch.37
Ron Refuses to Give Up Hope Ch.138
Ron Reminds Pat of her Accomplishments Ch.89
Ron, You Used to be Funnier Ch.129
Ron's Covid Fatigue Helps Him Understand How Lewy Body Affects Pat Ch.136
Short- and Long-Term Memory issues Ch.56
"Showtime" Ch.8
Slightly Unusual Behaviors Ch.17
Slow Motion Panic Attack Ch.49
Some Days You Just Want to Cry Ch.6
Some Mornings are Full of People Ch.30
Something Bad had happened to Lakota. And Pat has a Fall Ch. 66
Spreading Out My Need for Affirmation Ch.185
Spring Colors and the Lewy Body Lifestyle Ch. 87
Sudden Mood Changes Ch. 22
Taste and Touch Connect Us Ch.121
Tears of Love Ch.106
The Apocalypse Arrived and Yet it was Not Apocalyptic Ch. 39
The Body Keeps the Score Ch.77
The Gobbler and the Slowpoke: How Lewy Body Affects our Mealtimes. Ch.76
The Shape of My Life is Emerging Ch.181
The Story of Blackberry the Steer: How Pat Saved a Life and Gained a Large Friend Ch 101
The Transition to the Assisted Living Center was Going Well --Until the Fire Alarm Went Off. Ch.95
The Universality of Grief Ch.177
Things Fall Apart Ch.189
Three Grieving Men Ch.205
Time is IN My Hands Ch.184
Time is Running Out Ch.124
This is MY House Ch.67
Three Acts of Generosity Help Me Feel Hopeful Ch.191
Today's Surprise: Ron Gets a Heart Stent. Ch.32
Transitions.Ch.159
Twenty-Four Hours of Chaos Ch.94
Two Exhausting Days Ch.44
Two Rons Ch.45
Unprepared for Life After Lewy Body: Ron's Fear of Boredom. Ch.156
Waking Dreams, RBD, and Sleep Deprivation Ch.14
Walking My Cat Ch.210
Walking to the Creek to Talk with Pat Ch.176
Watching Pat's Memory Choir Brings Sadness and Joy Ch.196
We are Still a Team Ch.12
We're Ready to Accept Help Ch.93
What Comes Next? The Lewy Body Sequencing Problem Ch.11
What Was Supposed to Bring Pride Brings Shame Instead Ch. 38.
Who Would take Care of Pat If I Couldn't? Ch.42
Who Should I Tell I have Lewy Body? Acceptance, Embarrassment, Shame and Trust Ch.7
Why Is It so Hard for Pat to Make Choices? Ch.82
Why Now? Pat has a Flare Up of her Auto-Immune Disease Ch. 99
Working Together Ch.55
Year End Review: A Lewy Body Year of Transition Ch.115