Ch.10. Physical Intimacy: Hugs and More.
My friends and family have been a wonderful support for me during these Lewy Body days. Recently I was talking with a family member when I mentioned that Pat and I had made love that morning. That person was a little surprised that we could still have physical intimacy at this stage in our lives.
Fortunately, Lewy Body hasn’t inhibited our ability to find comfort in each other’s arms. Most of the time this means gentle caresses and warm hugs – reassurances that we are here for each other and always will be. Our love is permanently stored in our muscles, nerves, and brains. Caring touch warms, assures, rewards, and connects the two of us in ways that no amount of talking could ever match.
Sexuality is also important, of course. Oddly, I think it’s become easier to communicate our desires during the Lewy Body years. Less guessing (“Is she interested? Am I interested?”). More straightforward signs of interest. Fewer complicated sequences of “maybe…yes…no…maybe…” Of course, it helps that we are both retired. There’s less competition for our attention from other activities, fewer phone calls, less stress, and no frustrating times at work when you’d like to be having fun in the bedroom.
I’ve read in the Lewy Body literature that sexuality can be impaired in many ways because of Lewy Body, especially if people also have many Parkinson’s symptoms. So that’s another thing to be prepared for in an uncertain future – and to be grateful for living in the here and now.
In writing this passage I’ve just had a realization: I never think about Lewy Body while we are making love.
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