Ch.46 Lewy Body Affects Pat’s Sense of Time
We were going to meet friends at 1 pm to go to a movie. But before that I had to take a load of recyclables to our town’s recycling center. I left at 10:00 a.m., believing I had told Pat clearly that I’d be back in 25 minutes and we’d go to the movie in three hours. She had said she understood, but when I came home Pat was outside waiting in the cold for me to return so we could go right away. This isn’t the first time we’ve encountered this misunderstanding. Nor is it something only happening with Pat. At the last couples support group, we attended two other couples talked about the same issue. It seems evident that Lewy Body affects people’s sense of time.
There seem to be two aspects to this problem. First, sometimes I may just not be clear enough in what I say, or I don’t make sure Pat really has taken in my message. This is most likely to occur when Pat is sleepy or tired. Secondly, Pat has become less patient over time. Waiting three hours to drive to the theater apparently seems way too long for her; Pat wants to get going immediately.
I’m a “let’s get there right on time, neither too early nor too late” person. I used to get frustrated with Pat because she wouldn’t be ready on time and we’d get to our destination late. Now it’s more the opposite issue; Pat’s the one eager to get going and I’m holding her back.
The consensus in our support group was that we care-partners needed to be more flexible. So what if we get somewhere 15 minutes early? Relax. No sense arguing with the partners we love just to prove we know how to read a clock. However, three hours is different. All I can think of to do in this situation is to explain again and try to fill the time with some activity such as having a meal. I do feel badly when I see Pat becoming frustrated and antsy.
Lewy Body creates many situations like this in which there are no absolute solutions, just minute to minute accommodations.
Pat’s comments on Lewy Body Affects Pat’s Sense of Time.
People react to different situations slightly differently. Ron says I’ve been anxious about a trip we’re going to take in March (two months from now) but I’m not aware of that. This time issue is not a big deal to me. If it’s a big deal to Ron he needs to tell me so.