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Ch. 74 Hoping for a Miracle

Ch. 74   Hoping for a Miracle

          Dec. 29, 2020.

          Blackie the cat sits on my lap as I consider all that’s happened this year and all that didn’t happen. Covid-19 happened. Civic life suffered. Masking happened. Family gatherings withered. Survival happened. Thriving was problematic. Fortunately, Lewy Body support groups are still happening, on Zoom, but seeing our fellow members in person has ended (we hope temporarily).

          Meanwhile, Pat’s Lewy Body symptoms have gradually progressed, especially short-term memory (see Chapter 62). She’s more likely to feel disoriented as well, for example when our home becomes temporarily unfamiliar. I’m grateful, though, that the progression so far seems to be going slowly. Pat is still Pat and it looks like she plans to stick around a long while.

          I asked my family members what they might hope for this coming year during our weekly Zoom family session. Of course, that meant I had to think about my own hopes. I was surprised to find myself wishing for a miracle cure, a little pill that would banish Lewy Body forever. I don’t usually let myself make wishes like that because they force me to confront the reality that no such medicine exists, and none appears to be on the way in the foreseeable future. Wishing for that miracle usually just fills me with sadness. It did this time too. Still, that hope emerged, declining my realist’s attempted veto and despite the pain that followed. It was insistent. It is insistent.

          Who knows? Maybe the isolation forced upon us in 2020 has spurred some scientist to take a new tack, to try a different approach to dementia that will create a cure for Lewy Body. Why not?

          Oh, by the way, the cure would also restore people with Lewy Body to full functioning. Might as well hope for the whole package.

Pat’s comments on Hoping for a Miracle:

          I’m hoping for a miracle too. It doesn’t make me feel sad.

          I think I do have miracles every day. There’s always something happening and if it isn’t bad then it’s probably good. This morning I woke up with thoughts that nothing would change but then those thoughts didn’t stick and I feel better and I’ve thought of some things that help me.