Ch.72 An Emotional Roller Coaster Day
November, 2020
It’s become a cliché to say that the Lewy Body experience feels like being on a roller coaster. I promised myself I would never use that term in this journal. However, “roller coaster” exactly mirrors my feelings about today.
8:00 a.m. Pat wakes up feeling sad and tells me she needs to have me take her to her home. When I try to explain that we are in our home she becomes irate and calls me a liar. Frustrated and feeling hopeless, I leave the room for a few minutes but come back to try to come to some resolution. By accident I mention I like one of her necklaces and soon we are absorbed in looking through several jewelry boxes filled with minerals, rings and necklaces. Pat relaxes and doesn’t mention trying to find her home. I relax as well.
We eat lunch about noon and decide to take a country drive before I watch the Badgers football game. We don’t say much but we enjoy the drive. When we get home, Pat tells me to have fun watching the game and goes off to take a nap. But by halftime she’s up and demands to know when the game will end (Football games do seem to last forever. Three hours is a long time, longer than we usually are apart). Pat feels abandoned; I feel annoyed. We argue a little, I decide to tape the remainder of the game, and we settle on watching the weekend national news. That goes well and then we eat supper. Next on our impromptu agenda is a Netflix movie. Pat becomes irritated when I take too long to find one to watch but we do find a good one (“The Queen”). Then Pat goes to bed and tells me how happy she is with me.
Now I am alone and have time to reflect on the day. I felt helpless when Pat asked me to take her home, loving as we appreciated her jewelry, calm as we drove around, thankful when she told me to enjoy the game, annoyed when Pat woke up from her nap and complained about the length of the game, and comfortable as watched the movie. I’m sure Pat felt many of these same emotions, probably more intensely than I did. Too many emotional ups and downs for me. Now, at 10 p.m. I feel tired, emotionally spent.
Maybe we can get off the roller coaster tomorrow.
Pat’s comments on: A Roller Coaster Day:
Ron to Pat: Was that day also an emotional roller coaster day for you?”
Not on the same day. A day that is an emotional roller coaster day for you and one that is an emotional roller coaster for me aren’t necessarily the same.
I can’t remember a day I’ve had an emotional roller coaster. It’s not a reaction I usually have. I just have one emotion at a time and then it’s over.