Ch. 48 Our Two Truths Are Like Oil and Water
Round One: Pat tells me that last night she was surrounded by several people who accused her of doing bad things, causing her to feel shame even though she was innocent. I saw how bad she felt and decided to suggest she had a bad dream, something that happens frequently with people who have Lewy Body because that disease affects REM sleep patterns. I knew it was risky, but I felt sad she was in so much distress about an incident I was certain never happened.
Pat became angry. She insisted she was in reality and I was accusing her of being crazy. I felt trapped. If I kept saying she had a dream I’d just feed her anger; if I backed off and agreed with her I’d be lying and two-faced. The more we talked the worse it got, until Pat went to take a nap.
Round two: Pat awakened, and we held each other for a long time. However, she insisted there were two Ron’s in her life, one being myself and one almost the same but different and temporarily absent. I quietly told her there was only one Ron, namely myself, but she didn’t believe me. Then she started giving me tests to see if I really were her husband: How did we meet; how old is she; where were we married? I answered the questions and kept stating I was the only Ron, even though I knew she did not and would not believe me. Her response was to ask if I knew where the other Ron was staying tonight.
Our truths are like oil and water; they don’t mix. Maybe, like oil and water, we should just let them stay separate and not try to mix them together again.
Pat’s comments on Our Two Truths Are Like Oil and Water: I remember one night we were riding in our car and I was talking to the other Ron. I asked where Ron was right now. I felt I had lost him and that was a terrible loss to me. I wanted to find my way back to him. I asked you (Ron) if you’d been sleeping with me every night in our bed and you said yes. That settled me down because then I knew there weren’t two Rons. You were the same Ron.