Ch.198 Don’t Leave a Mess Behind May 2023           I have been cleaning, sorting, keeping, and throwing things since Pat was transferred to assisted living. I began with Read more

Ch.199 First Airplane Trip After Pat’s Death May 22, 2023           I’m flying tomorrow from Minneapolis to Toronto to spend a week with my brothers Art and Don, Read more

Ch.197 “Get Me Through December.” April 2023           Alison Krause is a blue grass singer with a beautiful soprano voice. This afternoon I listened to several of her Read more

Ch.196 Watching Pat’s Memory Choir Brings Sadness and Joy           April 2023           This morning I attended the final rehearsal for the evening’s Springtime Read more

Ch.195 Reminiscences: “Tripping” with Pat April 2023           Searching for some Lewy Body books, I happened across three journals I kept between 1997 and 2015 in which I Read more

Ch.194 My Friend Howard’s Joyful End of Life April 2023           Howard was dying from a rare form of cancer. He knew it. I knew it. So, I Read more

Ch.193 Letting Go of a Great Resentment           March 2023            Before Pat closed out her life at Azura Memory Care she spent a Read more

Ch.192 I Have a Pretty Good Life March 2023           I awakened yesterday, said good morning to Pat as usual, and began contemplating the day. Morning: drinking tea and Read more

Ch.191 Three Acts of Generosity Help Me Feel Hopeful           March 2023           Yesterday began with worry. Two days ago, Levi, my elderly collie, Read more

Ch.190 Doing OK But a Little Empty March 2023            By chance, I saw Pat’s cousin Cheryl as I entered the church where a concert raising money for Read more

Ch.189 Things Fall Apart. February 2023           “Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.” This famous phrase, the beginning of a poem written by William Butler Yeats, perfectly Read more

Ch.188 I Can No Longer Keep Lakota Safe. February 2023           My horse is named Lakota. He’s a “quarter horse,” a type bred to run exactly one-quarter mile Read more

This week I have altered my usual format. I've asked my friend Richard Fuhrer to share a poem he wrote recently as he wrestled with whether this was the time Read more

Ch.186 A Joyful Musical Memory January 2023           Last night I watched a PBS special show about the singer and pianist Roberta Flack. Her breakthrough song was entitled Read more

Ch.185 Spreading Out My Need for Affirmation           After Pat died, I took up a new hobby: colored pencil drawing. That was somewhat of a stretch, given Read more

Ch.184 Time Is In My Hands Jan.2023 I woke up a couple days ago, looked at my calendar, and discovered no activities scheduled for the day. No friends to visit; no volunteer activities Read more

Ch.183 I Am a Witness Who Can’t Witness January 2023 Two years ago, my good friend Howard told me he’d been diagnosed with an extremely rare and possibly lethal form of blood Read more

Ch.182 Dangerous Territory: Watching My Name is Otto January 2023              I mentioned to my daughter Jenny that I was interested in seeing Tom Hanks’ new movie My Name Read more

Ch.181 The Shape of My New Life Is Emerging Jan.2023           Something important has happened over the last two days: I can clearly see the outline of a Read more

Ch.180 Pat’s Been Gone Exactly Six Months Today           Jan.1, 2023  “Not all who wander are lost. Some of us are just out looking for magic and rocks Read more