Ch.243 Life is Good
March 2024
I was reading a novel by Irish storyteller Niall Williams entitled This is Happiness, when I came across a passage in which Ganga, the husband of Doady, hires a woman housecleaner as his way of both helping his wife recover from depression and alleviating the housecleaner’s poverty.
“I [Noel, Ganga’s grandson] learned that Mrs. Moore was my grandfather’s surprise and understood she was the least likely emissary of love, and company would be a balm. Knowing that Doady would refuse any such, he had presented it [to Doady]as charity. Knowing that Mrs. Moore would not accept charity, he had presented it to her as an act of kindness to his wife.”
I laughed a small laugh, the kind you do when reading a 400-page book full of such passages. I laughed aloud. And that felt strange. Laughing is usually a social event; I hear something humorous to me, then I turn to see if others agree, and then I laugh. It all happens quickly and automatically. It’s usually a flawless routine; however, I do have a tendency to see humor in situations others don’t, so not infrequently I’ve been embarrassed by being the only person laughing. But this was different. This was a private laugh, not a social one. I just felt good enjoying my book and my life.
Then, yesterday, I met my friend Joan, whom I hadn’t seen in almost a year. One of the first things she said to me was that she could immediately tell I was doing a lot better than the year before, when Pat had only passed away about six months earlier. (Joan looked a lot better as well, having recently recovered from a serious medical condition.)
Let me say it: Life is good. Not life is survivable without Pat. Not life’s ok living alone. Life is good. I am happy to be alive now: walking my dog in the cold, visiting friends, petting my cat, watching sports on television, facilitating support groups, visiting my children, feeding my horse and his pals, reading, putting together a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle one slow discovery at a time.
Today on my walk I met a neighbor family watching the field across our creek. They’d seen a bear there a minute before, by the edge of the woods. Amazing. Life is full of wonders. I’ve made a commitment on my twice daily walks to look for whatever I haven’t seen before; there is always something new to see, or something old to see in a new way.
Life is good.